Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My cat gives me a boner
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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