How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
