My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
