she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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