U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize