and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
