this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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