I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
