Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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