White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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