It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
