I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize