He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
