her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
