So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
