You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
