So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
