Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
