I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize