i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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