my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
