They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
