So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
