You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
