He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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