I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
