If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's get the cat blown out
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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