loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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