that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
