there's paper in my vomit.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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