I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wear drunk well.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
