that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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