Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is Oprah even human
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