and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
