No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
