he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
