I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
