brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this boner is exhausting
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
