its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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