Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
