I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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