You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish i was in the wii world.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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