She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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