I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
