But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
