So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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