census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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