Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
