i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize