I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
