I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
