? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize