mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
