Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
