This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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