New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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