If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
