It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize