you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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